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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, Marielle, calls herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to record everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when strangers see her posing or filming – I get vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She creates vlogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also expects me to film her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has turned into me being her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my discomfort about this arrangement, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I spend helping her make content.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or dishonest, but at times it seems that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with someone. It feels forced. I need her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being recorded, edited, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I love shooting content. It's more than a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to show my personality and engage with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I look up to people on TikTok who pull off that style of informal, self-made film-making.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an audience that values the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uneasy. Taking her to industry events was my method of sharing opportunities, giving her a opportunity to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could help her professional path too. That’s not leverage, it's simply being realistic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the work we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I know not everyone enjoys being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private videographer, but companions help each other in small ways. I thought filming a short video now and then would be enjoyable for Beth. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having my friend around makes endeavors energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I’d never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and want to avoid making videos to come between us. I am ready to compromise: like requesting permission before recording, and avoiding angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still considering hers. Clearly making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a friend film you. I get that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. Given the dark, looming future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for assistance every time, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn't imply all those around her is willing material. She needs to respect Beth’s privacy.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and displaying her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she needs to listen to what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Foster some real memories, where genuine feelings are preserved, not online archives. In fact, celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor genuine when they're together – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to what’s reasonable. The solution lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been over-exposing their friendship?